Steven Augart posted a comment on Wednesday 15th August 2007 12:09am for Return to Hogwarts

I enjoy the train scenes. "... will result in my being required to kill you."
Your Malfoy is so despicable, it's very satisfying to read about Bad Things happening to him.

I'll cover a nit or nits here:

You write:

identical to how he had appear

You want "appeared", not "appear".


You write: "leaned in close to hissed". I suggest "leaned in close to him and hissed"

You write:

looking completely unruffled as not in the slightest bit perturbed by what had just transpired

I think that instead of "as", you want "as if" or "and".

You write:

Ministry Crew --as the other members of the DA were want to refer to the six students

You want "wont" instead of "want".

mashimaromadness posted a comment on Sunday 29th April 2007 12:58pm for Return to Hogwarts

Oh dear, here comes the real Harry. Don't worry, that's about as far as I remember at this point. Yay for this story.

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 31st March 2006 7:48am for Return to Hogwarts

Your Harry-the-Automaton is unnerving even me. No wonder Hermione is beside herself over Harry's current state of "existence."

I cannot see where you are going in the least.

Great low-grade suspense.

Patches posted a comment on Wednesday 29th March 2006 1:18am for Return to Hogwarts

OK! Harry is in bad shape. What is going on? This is a little unnerving. Answers?
Hopefully soon. Thanks, pms

Aurilia posted a comment on Thursday 23rd March 2006 3:48pm for Return to Hogwarts

I'm really glad there's another chapter, otherwise I would have been forced to unleash the assassin bunnies.

Merle Corey posted a comment on Sunday 12th March 2006 10:48am for Return to Hogwarts

Yah for Harry breaking Malfoy's arm. Although a matched set of broken noses would have been nice.